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This is my final attempt before conceding defeat about my prayers being answered. After years of prayers, going to church, reading the bible, and living my life as best as possible because to me the only perfect person died years ago on a cross and I will never be as good as him. I know for some God has answered your prayers, he has been there for you in ways I will never know or experience. My faith, hope & trust in God is string thin and if in the next month, my nightmare doesn't end I highly doubt I will be able to hold on to the last bit of hope I have left that my nightmare will end. The only thing I am asking from others is prayers as words have failed to strengthen my faith.